A no-nonsense guide for anyone that wants to get fit and stay fit…
The Drill Sergeant is a college educated successful businessman that has a more than average level of common sense. Sarge has BS, MS and PHD degrees (Bull Shit, More Shit and Piled Higher and Deeper) from the college of “I know the difference between shit and shine-ola”.
Read on if you dare…
Chapter 1
Recruiting
“Get on the bus meat sack”
People are tired of being lied to and deceived about dieting. Most diet plans simply don’t work because they aren’t based in reality in terms of how we live and function as people in the society we live. They want us to starve ourselves or spend all hours of the day searching for and eating foods that aren’t satisfying or practical from a preparation or access standpoint. The diet plans work for a short time until the everyday realities of our lives take over. We lose/gain, lose/gain and lose/gain until the next genius comes along with the next miracle weight loss plan we think makes even more sense.
It’s so typical of human nature to look for the path of least resistance when it comes to weight loss. We’ve been chasing innovations in everything we do since the dawn of time and it’s no wonder we’re now looking for the miracle solution for weight loss. “Let’s make a machine that does the work for us? Yeah, perfect!” The problem with this innovation is that there’s simply no machine that will make exercise easy. Sure, there are plenty of commercials out there touting exercise machines that are easy and fun to use…all those smiling actors having a good time losing weight while their machines do the work for them. “Yeah, right!” Just more of the weight loss industry lies we have to endure. To put it simply, if you’re not sweating, breathing hard or your muscles aren’t tired, you’re not exercising…period …end of discussion. To be perfectly honest, we should be trying to get machines that are generally harder to use. Logically they’ll do you more good because you’ll be working harder using them.
In the case of food, who wants to live on alfalfa sprouts, tofu and granola (other than the entire state California of course)? Mankind has had access to fruits and vegetables since the dawn of time. We don’t prefer them because they are generally boring, tasteless, don’t last or are no fun to eat. Sure you can pour a good Hollandaise sauce, salad dressing or what have you on them to add a little taste and variety, but, in the final analysis, human nature wants more. We want to eat what we want to eat when we want to eat it. Right?
As I see it, what we need is a diet plan that says, go ahead and eat what you want. The “hook” with that is that our bodies require us to have a corresponding amount of exercise to do so. The reason this makes sense is that our bodies are meant for exercise. Just lie in a bed for a month and watch what happens to you. It’s very simple, if you don’t exercise you turn into a soft pile of mush. Add food and you get a big soft pile of mush. Conversely, you can eat a boatload of food and still be fit. Look at most professional football players. As I see it, if you want to eat what you want when you want to, then you have to have an exercise plan that matches that eating habit. It’s simple, if you’re overweight, then you’re not exercising enough or you’re eating too much…or both. Got it?
OK, its’ time to report for boot camp…
That’s right people. America’s “excess” lifestyle and fast food infatuation is taking its toll on you. Do you really think you can have a hard body by laying around and sucking down gigantic sodas and gargantuan fast food burgers? Do you really believe that you can be fit and feel good when your only form of exercise is the gravity defying power lift of hoisting your girth off the couch to go “fridge diving” between TV shows? The problem is so obvious that I think you must already know this, and therefore, the real problem is that you have let yourself become so mentally weak and complacent that you’ve reached a point where you simply can’t see the fitness forest for the fast food trees anymore. Where and when did it happen to you? Were you always this way or did you get pulled into the fast food tractor beam like some interstellar dairy cow to an “all you can eat” intergalactic cow trough? Have you now been chewing the fast food cud for so long that the mere sound of any fast food cow bell has you salivating like a Pavlovian dog? What are the physical and mental tools necessary to break such a dependency? How do we reinstate the self respect and mental resolve that existed before we fell off the fitness wagon?
Well, I think the sergeant may have few comments relating to this at this stage…
Right on sarge! You’ve got to do it people! On top of that you have to WANT to do it. Do you? You certainly wanted to lay around and eat all that food that made you the supersize you are today.
We’ve all heard the story that a frog will lay in a pot of water as it’s brought up to boil not recognizing the incremental increase in water temperature until it’s too late and it’s been boiled alive. Weight gain is very much the same phenomena. How bad do you have to look or feel before you’ll recognize that you need to make a change? How uncomfortable does your life have to become for you to come to the necessary realization and ensuing level of resolve to get out of the frog pot? You have to ask yourself these things to really make any progress here because not arming yourself with a steadfast and somewhat impenetrable set of mental armor will only make you susceptible to the exact same temptations that led you to the cow trough to begin with. The human will that exists in all of us is capable of achieving anything, and, it’s never too late to start. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a poor excuse for a human being, so, get your mind right and let’s get on the road to the lean mean you!
Take over Sarge…
OK, well there it is…eat less and exercise more. Wow, what a revelation. It’s amazing that you had to actually be told something that obvious, but, for most of us, life’s little remedies are generally dangling right under our noses but our heads are buried so far up our asses that the methane tends to distract our noses from the obvious. Yes, it’s really that simple. Sure, there are a hundred diet books out there offering you miracle results with little or no effort or asking you to give up the comforts that make life worth living but, in the end, they are pretty much netting out the same result…you need to take in less, exercise more or some combination of both. The issue isn’t that there isn’t a remedy for your situation. Again, we’re back to this idea of mental resolve and determination. That is your remedy. If you don’t have the discipline to recognize something as simple as eating less and exercising more is what you really need to do, then you’re simply suffering from too great a degree of “cranial rectalitis” for ANY diet book to help you. You’ve got to wake up and smell something other than a “methane mocha” before something good will happen to you…
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The Drill Sergeant's Guide to Weight Loss 